Choosing Castigating or Cossetting?
-Miracles & Musings 4-20-25
This word appears today for me to write about:
tempted. Dictionary defined:
entice or attempt to entice (someone) to do or acquire something that they find attractive but know to be wrong or not beneficial.
How many times over the years (looking back with tears) have I been enticed to do something, or even just think something, that felt unhealthy, not in alignment with my own values, my own self care?!
Answer appears…
Every day.
I do my best to look at what I do and say (and think and believe) through the lens of what is stalwart to my values. Stalwart? Yes! Loyal, and reliable!
Relying on that within me that comforts, sustains and guides me.
Do I always follow through, doing what is truly mine to do? No.
And, then, when I realize, what do I then find mine to do?
Sometimes (like today)
INSTEAD of castigating myself for my “failure”, I can choose to cosset instead of castigate.
When I castigate myself, talk down to myself, threaten, blame, punish myself…I perpetuate the self-hate. And then I feel worse, even worse than when I started down that painful, slippery slope of self-despair, lack of self-care.
When I berate myself for the damage, I kick the tires I’m trying to drive my values vehicle with…I spiral into feeling bereft. Sad. Lonely for self-love, self-care. Wondering how I got there. Wondering if I will ever get out.
Somehow I find the place within me where I long to live in and with. That true me-self. My inner child, Molly, reminds me. Re-minds, re-hearts me to return to myself. My values. My core beliefs. My hope and faith. My True Belief. Something in me shines.
Sometimes unexpectedly, like today, the smile of a young child, unbidden. The light in that young face captured me. Lifted me.
It took only a nano-second!
The twinkling of an eye.
I slammed shut the self-hate door.
Looking into that young face smiling so fully at me, I forgot to hate myself.
So that is partly why, on my desk, around my desk, I have objects with eyes. Photos of those I love. Cards I’ve drawn. Inner child drawings.
When I open my eyes to those eyes loving around me, I can find a way to return to love.
To aid me, I have many strategies written on paper, on screens, to remind me.
And written on my heart, the memories of all the love and gratitude through the years that cheer me.
I send these words to you, loving you. Loving me, loving you. I do.